(With apologies to James Pierpont,
the nineteenth century author of Jingle Bells.)
Christmas Stress
Darting down the aisles,
Gift for Mom to find,
Color is all wrong –
Need another kind.
Son wants ‘puter games,
A movie DVD.
Daughter wants a car –
She won’t get that from me.
(Refrain) Oh, Christmas time, Christmas time
Filled with lots of stress,
Simplify and take your time
Or you will be a mess.
Oh, Christmas time, keep in mind
The message from above -
Treat others as you’d treat yourself
And strive for joy and love.
Got up at 5 a.m.
“Sale! Sale!” promised the signs.
My credit card is maxed.
Hey, that parking space was mine!
Our post office is packed.
The line is hours long.
Got other things to do.
Great, my packaging’s all wrong.
The cookies and the fudge,
Parties all around,
The egg nog and the rum -
I swear I’ve gained ten pounds.
They’ve unwrapped all their junk,
They’re fighting over t.v.
My cat has climbed the trunk
Of my lighted Christmas tree.
Suddenly there is a halt -
Electricity is out.
The fire is crackling low -
The family mills about.
We sing and play some games.
Pop corn and have a ball.
The family now agrees t’was
The best Christmas of all.
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