Therapy With a Difference

Donna May, MA, LMFT

 

New YOU in 2008!


I am writing this to you on New Year's Eve.

This time each year I take time out from daily life to reflect, to write, to dream. I hope you are doing the same. 2007 was an amazing year of personal and professional growth for me. I crossed the bridge from the known to the unknown in many areas of my life, dreams acting as the way-shower in this always exciting, but sometimes scary, process. My life tapestry was enriched by the complexities of personal story that unfolded in many unexpected ways.

I started 2007 retiring from the county behavioral health/alcohol and drug agency I had worked at for almost nine years. I loved my years of county service but felt it was time to commit myself more fully to my vision of bringing depth psychology and it's unique and healing principles to this rural county.

For the past several years I had had a private practice and also done groups, workshops, and classes on dreams, but now the part-time status I had given to this important work seemed like not enough. Priorities were changing. I felt torn between what ego wanted (money, prestige, security) and what Soul/Psyche was beckoning me towards.

I always tell my clients to "follow their bliss" and how essential it is to honor the images of their dreaming psyche. Living an authentic life is more important than exterior, ego-driven motivations.

My dreams were pointing me to a way of more authentically living my personal and professional life. How could I not but "practice what I preached?" I excitedly looked forward to what 2007 had to offer.

What happened next I would not believe if it had not happened to me.

I left my old work place behind on a Friday and on that following Monday, the day I was to begin the next phase in my work and career, the water pipes burst in the house that serves as my office.

I truly believe that it was no coincidence that this was the day that celebrates Martin Luther King's birthday. The day honoring the great man who encouraged us all to be more than we thought we were and who was arguably best known for his "I have a dream" speech was the day that saw, quite literally, the complete devastation of my office.

Almost every internal wall, as well as the entire ceiling, had to be pulled down and thrown out in order for the house to be adequately repaired.

I found myself remembering how I had told colleagues and friends how I wanted to "spruce up" my office, clean out the old, make room for the new, and to get new flooring on which to walk . . . all I can say is - Psyche is powerful and "be careful what you ask for!"

Just as Psyche was knocking down the office so that it could be rebuilt stronger and better, I was experiencing the internal breakdown and rebuilding of Self. I was having
a waking dream, that those first few months, seemed more like a nightmare.

By the way, just as I tell my students and clients, be careful what you label as "nightmare" because often these dreams have the most powerful life lessons and carry our greatest healing gifts.

It is easy to say "no matter what things appear to be they are for one's highest good", and quite another to "walk your talk," walking the bridge into the unknown when things look dark and scary.

I had professional opportunities to go back to the safety of the kind of work I had just left behind, but found the courage to say "thanks, but no thanks." It was my writing and dreams (along with the all-important bubble baths!) that got me through this difficult time, helped me stay in my truth.

Depth Psychologists often speak of the "holding of the tension of the opposites" and I can't think of any better way to describe what was happening to me. Running parallel with the challenges of the office space, were exciting teaching opportunities and the expansion of my private practice.

Colleagues were generous with their willingness to offer me space in their offices during the rebuilding process. Many thanks - you know who you are!

 

Professional highlights include:

~ Adjunct faculty at College of the Siskiyous (COS),
teaching two sections of English 599: Life Story Writing.
One section focuses on my Writing For Recovery (WFR) work,
the other on The Power of Dreams

(I will be teaching both sections again starting in early March.
To register, go to www.siskiyous.edu);


~ Public lecture: GOT DREAMS? at COS-Yreka Campus;


~ Facilitated a ten week series on Writing For Recovery in Juvenile Hall.
This was possible due to a grant given to Siskiyou Art Council.

It was well received and I am looking forward to
repeating the class again this coming year;


~ Consultation work with other professionals on the incorporation of
dream work in the therapeutic process for children, teens and adults;


~ Invitation to speak about Writing For Recovery to students involved in
the Foster Youth Program at Siskiyou County Office of Education;


~ Participation in Siskiyou County's Annual Health Fair;


~ Participation in COS' Career Day Fair, Weed Campus;


~ Completion of my website!
Check it out at: www.donnamaymft.com

 

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DREAM YOURSELF AWAKE IN 2008!

Tools For Increasing Dream Recall

I recently got an email from a friend. She said she was "dreaming tons" but only remembering "glimpses" of the dream. She asked me for advice on how she could increase her dream recall.

Since this is probably the #1 question that I receive, I thought I would share with you some suggestions on how you can do this. I hope you find these ideas helpful:

1. Keep a journal and pen/pencil by your bed.
"Capturing" dreams often requires that you write them down as soon as you awaken from them. Is it 2am? Write it down. Sleepy intentions to "write it down later" - or thoughts of "how could I forget that dream - I will write it down when I wake up" will manifest in a frustrated you, waking up with limited and/or no recall.

I have been guilty of these "promises to remember in the morning" myself! Chances are that if you wait to record/remember your dream later, you will probably not remember it. If you are sleeping in a communal place and don't want to get up to record the dream, this can be tough but not impossible - a small pen light, flashlight or other small lighting source - can save the day here.

Buy or create a specific dream journal where you record all of your dreams. For the computer savvy, keep all your dream work in a specific folder - a caution here: make sure you make back-up copies of your dream writings. I recommend you print out hard copies of your dreams and keep them together in a notebook or file folder.

There are others who prefer to speak their dreams into a recording device that they keep by their bed. Many recommend this (including Marion Woodman) because then you retain more of the dream-like quality of the dream -- you are less likely to take the imagery and try to "explain it" by putting the dream into narrative form. The dream retains more of its poetic quality. Experts also suggest that you will more likely get exact phrases and/or words by recording dreams this way.

Some Artists keep unlined paper and drawing instruments by the bed to create a visual impression of the dream and then quickly scribble one or two words with it...upon waking the artist (and some of the rest of us so inclined) will take the image and words and "flesh out" the dream -- the words/images create a doorway back into remembering the dream more fully.

 

2. Wake up naturally or to soft/non-jarring music.
While sleeping we are, quite literally, in a different state of consciousness. You are giving yourself time to "capture" dream images still afloat upon awakening.

 

3. Don't move when you first wake up.
Staying in the same position in bed while trying to gently expand your dream recall works for many of us. After you have "captured" the dream(s) you can then record the dreams in your dream journal.

 

4. Focus on your hand (or other body part/image).
This is something one of my students shared with the class. She was able to expand dream recall if she stayed in her same sleep position and focused on the back of her hand. Other class members came back to report that this worked for them, too.

 

5. HERBS/VITAMINS.
LAVENDAR is a popular herb used by many to enhance dream recall. LAVENDAR is often used in "dream pillows" (usually small and colorful) and sold in various health food or "new age" stores and are most commonly put by the dreamer under their pillow prior to going to sleep. In addition, I have read that B VITAMINS are often used to help the dreaming process. I am not an herbalist or trained medical provider; I encourage you to talk to your health provider about these (or any other) herbal enhancements prior to using to see if they are appropriate for you.

 

6. Keep talking and reading about dreams.
Share your dream "snippets" with others and let them share their dreams with you. No need to "interpret" dreams, just allow them to come forward and be heard. Your Dreaming Psyche responds to what you put your energy and intention into.

 

7. Take a Dream Class or join a Dream Group.
You will be around others who are honoring their dreams, just like you are yours. This enhances your dream recall and gives you even more permission to explore and expand your relationship with your dream images!


I encourage you to deepen your relationship with your dreams.
Honor all of your dreams and dream images.
These are manifestations of Soul coming through.

Remembering and writing down your dreams
are great first steps in this process.

Try expanding your relationship with your dreams
by using various creative processes.

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Some of my clients' favorite ways to do this are:

Write poetry and/or stories based on your dream;

Paint, sketch, sculpt, collage your dream images;

Sing songs/Write Music
(some dreamers hear music/sounds)
and are inspired to record what they are hearing;
others create music inspired by the dream;

Dance the various components of dream.


These are but a few suggestions!

People throughout history have developed art, made scientific discoveries, developed new religions/forms of spirituality and more.

Dreams are a gateway, a bridge, connecting you to your Psyche/Soul, the collective unconscious and the world.

Dream will unfold if you allow IT this honoring through creative expression.


May you have a Soul and Dream-filled 2008!

 

Blessings,

Donna


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PS:

For those interested in LEARNING MORE ABOUT DREAMS, I will be giving a FREE LECTURE at my office on THURSDAY, JAN 3RD FROM 5:30-7PM.


For those SERIOUS DREAMERS wanting a more in-depth and on-going dream sharing experience, I will be facilitating a SIX WEEK DREAM GROUP (THURSDAYS 5:30-7PM), starting JAN 10TH ($25/Session, Six Week Commitment Required).


PRE-REGISTRATION REQUIRED FOR BOTH EVENTS.

 

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You can find out more on my website: www.donnamaymft.com
or
by calling my office: 530-841-0911

or emailing me at donnamaymft@hotmail.com